Well, How about this ...
On the job front,
the whole over qualified thing is getting very old
and very frustraing. I cant get a minimum wage job because of my
resume and former salary. I'm serious - 6, count 'em 6 different
employers have told me no - not because they don't have openings but
because they are afraid that I'd leave once the market opens up again.
For the first time
in my life I've had to accept charity assistance. Well actually its the first time I've needed it. Community Action Program-CAP (aka the Energy Assistance Office) paid my electric bill on Friday and gave me a $25 gift card for a local grocery store. When they called Duke Energy to tell them that they would be paying my bill, Duke informed them that they had me on the disconnect schedule for today (last Friday). After they were on hold for a bit trying to stop the disconnect they came back on and they said the truck was at my apartment but they stopped it in time. Whew...
Then they offerred
to pay my rent. Would you believe that my landlord refused, Stafford Pointe Apartments in Plainfield, IN (Greed Central) is refusing full payment. They refused it last Friday because it was for $139 less than what I owed. The manager told me that they needed a money order for the $139 and then they would accept the charity's payment so I got a family loan for that on Sunday. I dropped off the charity form and my $139 money order late last night. Today when I called them to confirm everything was ok so they could drop the eviction suit...
Yep they are refusing
because signing the form means they are accepting
a 'voucher' for about 4 days until the check arrives. This charity says these vouchers are processed the same day - the 4 days is for US mail. The thing is that court hearing isn't until April 6th...
I knew that they
were a little on the greedy side when they sued me in January. Rent is due on the 5th and if they don't have it on the 16th the sue. I settled that one by selling my car for rent money. My dad loaned me money to buy another vehicle since then.
Sooo, I'm at a decision
point. No other landlords will take me - even if I had steady income because I have an eviction on my credit and these guys seems hell bent on throwing me out - even after being presented with full payment including court costs and late fees. My adopted mom and biological mom have both offerred to put me up. Besides the inherent turmoil in having to make that choice I also have to contend with leaving Circle Face for an extended period of time as both mom's live 4 - 6 hours away drive time. I'm leaning strongly against taking my moms up on their respective offers and will most likely move into a homeless shelter or live in my car for as long as I can.
With a shelter or living
in my car I would not be able to have Circle Face stay over night but at least I could still see her weekly. That is something that I just can't get around. I think it is better to be homeless than to miss time with my daughter. The time less about me missing her but more about her needing her dad on a regular basis.
This whole situation
is paralyzing. Do I sit here and cry, do I spend the $139 (if I can get a refund on the money order) for gasoline in order to go job hunting throughout the city ... do I move to Tennesee or Kentucky and leave my daughter behind for a few weeks/months (who really knows)?
Comments
Daily victories are important, especially when it feels like so much of the world is against you.
You know where to find me.....
xoxo
Bravo for making choices that put your daughter first.
I'll be keeping your goings on in my thoughts and prayers.
you might not really want my two cents, but you know I can't help but try to help - so please forgive me: move to your Mom's and get yourself in a position to take care of your daughter in the future. Living in your current situation or car or shelter is going to deal a bigger blow to your self-esteem than moving in with Mom. You need all of your confidence to survive and turn this thing around. Living in your car or in a homeless shelter is going to make staying sober and upbeat harder. You have worked so hard to achieve such monumental steps on your own. Now it is time to let others help you. That is what family is for and all about. In a nutshell, go to Mom's, keep yourself healthy, find work elsewhere and get back on your feet - for yourself AND your daughter.
Camp 1 - leave and go stay with mom until I get back on my feet.
Camp 2 - go to a shelter, support your daughter emotionally.
Camp 3 - take the job offers that relocate me out of state, but don't move home.
No one supports the license plate as an address plan - including me. All of these have similar upsides so I focused on the downside. Options 1 and 3 have the downside of being away from Becca for 2-4-6 months.
To a 5 y/o two months is an eternity. So, I have to stay and be a regular fixture in my daughter's life even if it means staying in shelters. I am not afraid of this now - I have my head held hi. Truth be told, living in a shelter would probably help me gain even more humility and further eradicate any remaining amounts of arrogance and self-centeredness that I still have in me.
I appreciate all feedback - pro or con... K, I especially welcome yours. A couple posts you made back in '06 still resonate with me - I think I'm still being 'baked' for something amazingly better.
Job in another state? If it is a step sideways with upward potential - take it!
Thanks for your reply Joey. You know I care. Take care of yourself so you can care for others.
Good Luck.