13 posts from February 2008

... laying in bed at 2pm with your laptop.

I'm not sure WHAT that says but I just know it says something.  More research is required.

FYI: You guys are all in trouble too.  I feel a postathon coming on.

*snaps knuckles*

Three nights in my own bed! Might be challenging? Anyone in or around Indy up for some coffee?

Anyway, perhaps tomorrow I'll do something useful like catch up on the neighborhood.

They confirmed a UTI today. Just wanted to say thank you to all who prayed, connected, meditated, or otherwise sent positive energy her way.

Thanks!

Insomnia. Yuck.

They didn't find a problem - which is worrisome. They ruled the flu and appendicitis. Who knows. Fever has stayed away for 6 hours.

Cherie left to get clothes and walk the dog. My baby angel is in my lap milking a graple popsicle and watching 'Shrek'. Her fever keeps returning to 103-104 once the tylenol wears off so she has something going on.

I'll say this, Peyton Manning Childrens Hospital is a very good place. The care and compassion that these people show here beyond anything I've seen in a hospital - even better than Riley Childrens downtown.

My curfew is at midnight but I'm really hoping they figure it out and send her home well before then.

We are just waiting around. They are teetering back and forth from appendicitis or a urinary tract infection. Hopefully, its the latter.

We are in the ER with circle face. Maybe appendicitis. Going for ct scan.

Can you take Larry Bird with you? Please? Don't let the door hit you in the ass.

Ugh.

I've had great deal of sadness since being in rehab. I've seemed to become attached to many of the guys in recovery with me. Its such a strong feeling of friendship and love that it scares me. Based on the last few days, I'm questioning if I've ever known what friendship or love is. I didn't notice the attachment until fellow addicts started dropping out of the programs for one reason or another. Nearly 50% of the guys I was in patient with have relapsed. I've had three roommates relapse (that's 100% by the way). Today, one man that has been busting his ass working the steps and putting it all on the line in therapy was booted by the hospital - that's the story that we got. Seems his insurance company and the hospital had an issue and he couldn't pay the cash that the hospital wanted in order for him to continue treatment. He didn't stop by any of our apartments to say goodbye. This hurts a lot. My heart aches for him, he needs this program. A lot of the guys here have bad livers, hiv, and/or pancreatitus and will die if they go back to drugs and alcohol. Damn it. I'm pissed off at the hospital for even putting the issue on him. I'm sad because he left without providing a number or address. He just drove off into the sunset. I don't understand how/why I am becoming so attached to these strangers...... Why am I bawling like a baby because of this? I know that I am closer to some of the men here after 6 weeks that I have ever been with anyone else including my ex-wife, my parents, sister, and high school friends.

Anyway, we must fix the economics of health care. Capitalism will eventually meet the same fate as communism if we don't start showing compassion for our fellow human beings. We are doomed.

Let's see, I have the right to carry a gun, criticize my government, watch porn on cable, and own property. Hmmm, but I don't have the right to go to the doctor for an illness?

Sitting here watching GAC and 'Picture' by Kid Rock & Sheryl Crow came on. That's one of my all time favorite tears in my beer songs. I still love that song. Then The Eagles came on with something called 'Fabulous'. After writing all of this I feel better emotionally but I still want to hit East Washington street and get some crack. I was a practicing alcoholic for 17 years and a crack fiend for 9 days. And crack is my biggest challenge. Damn it - why didn't I just say 'no' that night?

// via vzw bb