1 post tagged “lie”

Sooooo,
I feel like a dog because the ex-wife (txw?) asked me to drive her to her bankruptcy hearing downtown tomorrow.  Of course I said, "no" - um because I couldn't get off work - which is a lie.  Why do I feel like a dog?   I'm thinking a of few reasons.

• Never really told her 'No' before so I feel like I'm disappointing her (as if that should matter now - warped I know)
  
• Told my first lie since being in recovery and it doesn't feel good called her back and said I didn't think it was a good idea and apologized for not being up front about it
  
• I feel like I'm turning my back on her - she is absolutely terrified to drive downtown

My rationalization
is that she shouldn't depend on me for anything non-Circle Face related.  She turned her back on Circle Face and I by refusing marriage counseling all those years --- I'm not absolving my behavior but she freaking refused to help us  --- now sleep in the bed you made.  As well, I'm not likely to move on emotionally if I'm helping her with stuff at every turn.

The thought in
the back of my mind is that I should just be a nice guy and go help her out.  Actually, I'd rather just feel good about whatever decision I make ... here's to wishful thinking.  Other than this issue today is a purdy good day.