188 posts tagged “movox”

This is supposed to be my last weekend in supportive living. I'm planning to move completely back home on Thursday the 13th. I want to go back to work badly. I want to sit in my living room. I want to sleep in my bed every night. But - I feel like I've made very little progress. I'm still obsessed with crack, women, porn, spending money, and alcohol - in that order I think. I don't call for help when I should. I'm may not be humble enough to ever recover.

I relapsed recently. I hate that word. There should be a better word for screwing up and not doing the right things and just plain not being a man. I didn't drink but I did smoke the rocks. I just can't get the sound, smell, taste, or the high out of my mind. I'm stuck on crack.

The addict in me says that all I need to do is find a good women to spend time with. Someone to focus my idle mind on rather than drugs. But that's not fair to her or me. Truth be told, I 'should' stay away from relationships for a year or more while I work on this. The urge to run hard and fast is front and center. If it weren't for Circle Face I'd be on the road. Somehow I have to figure out how to do the right thing regardless of her.

Ok, the pizza is ready time to eat dinner.

-via vzw bb

I'm hosting a production
meeting for 'Borrowed Time', an independent film that I have a role in. This is interesting since I've never had guests other than my family in my own home - ever - for entertaining purposes. Little nervous. After therapy today I rushed home to vacuum and dust. I was doing well until I realized that Cherie owns our vacuum. Went and bought a hepa dirty devil cyclonic action something or other. It did a nice job.

So, I have bottled
water, pop, apples, bananas, and cookies for refreshments. I'm hoping that is acceptable.

Damn, it always feels nice the first few times of the year.

Three nights in my own bed! Might be challenging? Anyone in or around Indy up for some coffee?

Anyway, perhaps tomorrow I'll do something useful like catch up on the neighborhood.

They confirmed a UTI today. Just wanted to say thank you to all who prayed, connected, meditated, or otherwise sent positive energy her way.

Thanks!

Insomnia. Yuck.

They didn't find a problem - which is worrisome. They ruled the flu and appendicitis. Who knows. Fever has stayed away for 6 hours.

Cherie left to get clothes and walk the dog. My baby angel is in my lap milking a graple popsicle and watching 'Shrek'. Her fever keeps returning to 103-104 once the tylenol wears off so she has something going on.

I'll say this, Peyton Manning Childrens Hospital is a very good place. The care and compassion that these people show here beyond anything I've seen in a hospital - even better than Riley Childrens downtown.

My curfew is at midnight but I'm really hoping they figure it out and send her home well before then.

We are just waiting around. They are teetering back and forth from appendicitis or a urinary tract infection. Hopefully, its the latter.

We are in the ER with circle face. Maybe appendicitis. Going for ct scan.