10 posts tagged “work”

I volunteered to
take all the weekend hours that no one wanted - and guess what?  Everything I got has been canceled so far.  Two busted trips across town already.  Whadda ya wanna bet that my 6pm on the north side cancels too?

Anyway, I broke down
in tears on my way to my first appointment at 9am.  I suppose it was guilt over the missed opportunities of my life, risks not taken, or money wasted.  Maybe it was because I keep getting lucky at the last minute?

But my emotions
this morning seemed to evolve into a thankfulness that I still have more chances to do better.   All I could think about about was how lucky I am to be alive.  I'm thankful that I never killed anyone all those nights driving home drunk.  I'm thankful that I'm sober now.  I'm thankful that I've been able to avoid being homeless to the is point.  I'm thankful that I have some stuff in my fridge to eat tonight/tomorrow.  I'm thankful that my daughter has her mom's financial security at a time when mine is mia.

Damn'd exciting
news at work.  We worked a proposal last summer/fall/winter/thisspring that at times had over almost 200 people assigned and WE WON!  Valued at over $10B $1B- with a Big B.

A handful, yet not all inclusive, list of slightly related posts:
Work Goodness
This Week Might Suck
Ugh, DC Again
Trip - Terrible Timing
Oh So Pretty - NOT!
United Airlines on the Shit List - Again/Still/Permanently

Work has slowed
down finally.  I've been going none stop since returning from leave in March.  However, I'm guessing this is only a temporary pause as we have several bids out and we should win the majority of them.  One proposal in particular will change our division dramatically.  We could double in size (headcount and facilities) and quadruple our revenue.  It will probably make the news if we win but I won't be able to point it out on here because that would bust my employer's anonymity.

The cool part
is that 'if' we get it then I'll have to build two new data centers ...  and I love that!  That's my bread and butter right there.  I really wanted to build in Austin and Reno but HR couldn't make the numbers work in those cities.  We settled on Oklahoma City and Boise.  That was 6 months ago so by the time it comes to signing leases and racking servers then the actual cities could change 16 more times.

Of course
we missed an opportunity recently because we underbid the project - which makes the customer think we don't know what we are doing.  We freaking underbid it because our director wanted to take an unreasonably austere view of the technology requirements.  Grrrr

Weird day ...

I'm not sure but
I think I was just sexually harassed.  I left my security badge on the dining room table this morning.  I usually go through the back door but when I knocked on the front door and begged the girls to please let me in they said NO!  Well one said I need to be strip searched.  and another one acted as if she smacked me on the behind and said that I should be spanked.  Damn.  Anyway, I say, "I'm not sure ..." because I liked it.  Ha!

And my boss was
called away to HQ for an impromptu something or other  - maybe he is getting fired?  The office is hoping that is the case.  Anyway, I was left in charge.  Ha - did you get that?  They left a crack addict in charge.  It was normal before my 3 month rehab stint to be left in charge but I didn't expect it post rehab.  This is not a huge deal for me but it is a nice vote of confidence.

The STBX's attorney
responded favorably to my recent email about lowering my support obligation.  The day care fee has gone done, the STBXs income was previously understated, and she received a raise so I sent the new calculations based on Indiana guidelines and WHAM - she agreed.  A nice $60/week back in my pocket.  Of course since Circle Face is not spoiled at all I'm sure none of that $60 will be spent on her.  ;)

A cutie pie from
work asked me if I still wanted to do the Beef & Boards sometime.  Just to clarify for the non-Indy crowd, Beef & Boards is a dinner theater on the northside.  I forgot that I even asked her last year.  I made up an excuse and ran away because I didn't know how to answer.  Didn't I take down my personal ads and stop seeking dates recently?  Yep, I did that even before I sobered up.  Hmmmmm.

I don't know how
to answer her because for one thing I have this recovery thing going on that takes significant parts of my non-circle face, non-work time and I can't allow any distractions.  Would this be a distraction?  I think - YES.  Secondly, I feel that I'm too emotionally hosed up right now to be able to make sound relationship decisions - especially when there is significant chance of bedroom olympics.  Sex/Companionship is one of my many addictions and I'm afraid that I'd use a charm offensive to manipulate her into my bed.  Does this make any sense to anyone other than me?  Maybe I'm being too hard on myself and say yes?  The answer would have been easy 11 weeks ago.  The answer would have been hell yeah - and I would have verified my condom supply.

And then there
is the whole weight loss angle.  She avoided answering my original query last year before I lost 94 pounds (yep I'm closing in on 100 - yippee).  I just have this little hang up about doing anything with someone that I perceive as having shunned me when I was super duper fat that my now be interested because I'm just fat nowadays.  Does that make sense?  Didn't think so.

Today was my
first day back to work since Jan 4th.  I went into treatment on Jan 9th.

I mean Wow!
Today was the best day of the year for me.  I had only one fleeting obsession to use today - and that was on my way to work and then it was smooth sailing all day.  Only one obsession so far today is a big deal considering that I normally have breakdowns 13 - 22 times per day (yes I document this stuff in a notepad).  This spurt of intrusion free thinking is pleasantly surprising and very much unexpected.  My coworkers welcomed me back by buying me lunch at my favorite Mexican greasy spoon.  Maybe I stayed away too long?  I have my final therapy session on Monday morning.  I'm sure the roast will be full throttle from the therapists and my group peers.

My boss welcomed
me back with open arms and a hug!  He is manipulative and untrustworthy so I'm not getting too excited about his welcome.  He did divulge my medical info to my the office so I didn't have any explaining to do.  Of course this was not authorized.  So we now have an HR issue that I'm debating whether to pursue or just let it go.  I don't know if the drama is worth it.

Although I couldn't do
much due to having all of my accounts locked/disabled I still completed 2 purdy damned good Visio diagrams for one client.  I'm not going to let my guard down yet - because my financial and dependency issues can still impact my employment.  Probably wont feel too good from that perspective for quite some time yet.

Hey, later
tonight be I'll be posting about "Obama's Visit to Joey's Neighborhood."  Seriously, he should travel right down my road tomorrow on his way to Plainfield HS for his campaign stop.

This means that I get
to go home.  Well not actually until 10AM ish tomorrow but who's counting.

I have a long day ahead of me starting
with a 4hr meeting.  This is where a few of my peers and a motely gang of overly paid consultants will come in and 'discuss' the best approach to take on this new project.  Key to this is mine and another peers diagrams and requirements docs.  My partner is weak but I'm hoping that he and I can present a unified front to the 'gang' ...   I will invariably end up explaining the difference between an OC3 and a DS3 or describing how VMware can save us cash and real estate more times than I can to count.

I'm being deliberately
vague for work reasons.  Thanks for understanding.  Wish me luck.

I have major sinus/head
cold loveliness going on and I am flying - today.  I am in trouble 'eh?  I am hoping that the abusive amounts of Sudafed, Aleve, and coffee that I am consuming will help.  I will be in Albuquerque today through Thursday for work.  Any Albuquerque Voxers?

So, I have been mia
for a since Thanksgiving.  I have avoided Vox on purpose.  I'm not sure why but I just haven't wanted to share anything lately.  I am off to see what my favorite Voxers have been up to for the last week or so...  and I see that I have a few private messages...

Be back later.

Boy, today has been
a rather busy day for me.  The last few weeks have typically involved me spending as much as 7 hours per day on a conference calls with contractors that have no desire to provide good service in exchange $.  But they sure as hell are hot on my ass when accounts payables hasn't paid their invoice within 30 days.

I typically get the pleasure of dealing
with communications providers and IT hardware companies...  if you ever need to get gray hair on purpose just try pleading your case to an un-empowered call center rep for one of these companies.  Account teams rarely provide the value add that they should (or used to anyway).  It's just not worth the hassle to achieve "economy of scale" by chosing one or two vendors for everything.  At the end of the day most of technology services, hardware, or consultants provide a commodity.  At this stage all I want is for the price to be competitive and the service (AFTER THE SALE) to actually exist.

So to all of you slick,
wine and dine type account executives out there.... please save the Colts suite tickets, race trips, and Pacers playoff seats.  Just - please provide the services that you promised.  No more vendor whoring...